Chael Sonnen Responds to Wanderlei Silva’s T-Shirt Through Poetry

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Chael Sonnen’s a poet and he didn’t even know it. Perhaps Uncle Chael did, because he rattled off several rhymes Saturday night after catching a glimpse of Wanderlei Silva’s t-shirt (above pic).

“Nice shirt @wandfc. Someday you’ll move up to shirts with buttons,” Sonnen tweeted before launching his poetic tirade.

It’s arguably the hottest rivalry in mixed martial arts, yet the archenemies aren’t even scheduled to fight each other and are at least four months away from doing so given Sonnen’s current assignment and Silva’s ailing back.

Sonnen is slated to co-headline UFC 167 on November 16 against Rashad Evans, while Silva isn’t expected to return until early 2014.

Here are the 15 short rhymes Sonnen dedicated to Silva via Twitter, which we’ll simply refer to as, Ode to “The Axe Murderer” (Who would have thought someone that walked the mean streets of West Linn was capable of being such an eloquent lyricist?): 

Chael thinks
Anderson sinks
Wandy stinks

Mayhem’s inna clink
Tito’s onna brink
There’s dishes inna sink
and WANDERLEI STINKS

My wife’s wrapped in Minks
I’m agile as a Lynx
I iron out the kinks
and everybody thinks
Wanderlei stinks

Yer nuts start to shrink
When you gotta sign in ink
to fight Chael, so I think
That Wanderlei STINKS

The Kings skate at the rink
The Mod Squad had “Linc”
Rogan likes Pink
and WANDERLEI STINKS!!!

Red is the rose
And Tebow throws
but everyone knows
That WANDERLEI BLOWS

Dark is the night
And mean dogs bite
And wind moves kites
But WANDY WON’T FIGHT

I hit like a truck
I got the ladies and the bucks
My middle name is bad luck
And Wanderlei sucks

Cubans To smoke
My opponents all croak
Like a bike w/no spokes
WANDERLEI’S A JOKE

Trains arrive late
And haters gonna hate
When he’s gone inside the gate
Wanderlei’s record… 3 & 8

I can write a million rhymes
I got a lot of time
The reason you didn’t sign
I woulda made you three and NINE

Sandra Bullock’s scared in space
You could hear her heart race
Fear’s not hard to trace
LOOK IN WANDY’S FACE

I got instinct
You’ll miss the fight if you blink
My bones are made of zinc
My blood is made of ink
And everybody thinks
Wanderlei stinks

The fifth dwarf was Sneezy
And Velveeta’s kinda cheesy
And Fiji’s kinda breezy
Beatin’ Wanderlei’s EASY

Ringo played the drums
And bread leaves crumbs
Heartburn? Take TUMS
WANDERLEI’S A BUM