Who wears short shorts? If you dare wear short shorts, you’re likely to seriously tick off UFC president Dana White and might find yourself in the unemployment line.
For those of you that missed out on Dennis Hallman’s Speedo-type trunks Saturday night at UFC 133, consider yourselves lucky. Those that aren’t as fortunate could be Hallman himself, as well as the UFC employee that allowed the welterweight to enter the Octagon in such atrocious attire.
“I’m seriously pissed off at the guys who work for us, who let him walk out with those things on,” an irritated White stated at the post-fight press conference.
“Maybe it was a Speedo, but Speedos weren’t meant to have a cup the size of a helmet stuffed in them. I think he was overdoing it on the cup, too.”
Although Hallman owns an extensive 50-14-1 (1 NC) record and was riding a two-fight winning streak prior to suffering last night’s 1stRound TKO loss to Brian Ebersole, who made a fashion statement of his own by grooming his chest hair in the shape of an arrow that pointed to his face, it appears he might be issued his walking papers.
“I thought we had some common sense, at least a little common sense,” White expressed. “That was a really bad moment. I was horrified.
“It was bad. It was as bad as bad can be. I’ve never been so embarrassed being in the UFC.”
White was so disgusted with Hallman’s banana hammock that he awarded Ebersole a never-before-seen $70,000 “thanks-for-getting-those-horrifying-shorts-off-TV-as-soon-as-possible” bonus.
“I was just worried about his cup and worried about his uniform malfunctioning,” Ebersole jokingly said. “It’s obviously one of those stories that’s going to stick out for a long time. I’m just surprised he tried to beat me at my own game with the humor and showmanship.”